I'd like to watch a movie at the Mole! But without a pervert on my left! I hate it when strange men think they can just walk around this world and touch any woman they want and anywhere they want. I will never understand it and I think men like your father can't understand it. I was talking to 2 colleagues the other day, one in his 40s and the other in his 50s, and I told them how most women have this biggest fear starting around puberty, and that's the fear of perverts assaulting them in any way, they're everywhere. They were both surprised and seemed unaware of that. But both have wives who perhaps don't have this fear - or just don't talk about it. I think it's necessary to talk about it.
Hi Gabi, I agree that we should talk more about it, but I didn't at the time, because I was sure no one would have believed me, an ugly girl, and I was afraid they were going to mock me, call me a liar and delusional. You know, the girls at my school, they all had similar stories, but we didn't think this kind of harassment was a big deal, because it was so common, especially in a "macho" country like Italy in the '80s. Thank you for your comment!
Whatever one says as a man feels redundant really in the appalling face of Mr Perv McPervyface. But then, there is another face here - Cherkasov - showing, I hope, a more honourable masculinity.
How anyone can call it violence on your part is beyond me. I would call it bravery. Like Cherkasov.
Thanks Nicolas, I know there are more kind, good, honourable men than bad ones out there. Fun fact, Cherkasov went on to star in other 2 Eisenstein movies about Ivan the Terrible, and he was really good in them, although his character differed completely from Aleksander Nevsky.
My youngest daughter was assaulted in her twenties by a man in a powerful position. I am so sorry it happened to you Portia. Men need to step up and protect women not prey on them.
I'm sorry for your daughter, Steve, what a cowardly bastard to take advantage of a young woman! Thanks for your comment, we should take care of each other.
Thank you Portia. It breaks my heart that I could not be there when she needed protection. Men need to step up and protect their sisters, wives and mothers. You are very strong and brave to share your experience
I know, Steve, I feel your pain as a parent of a daughter myself. I'm sure there are a lot of kind, considerate, thoughtful men like you in the world, although it's the shitty ones who make more noise and are more visible. But they're not going to win.
Portia, I’m so sorry for what you had to go through. Sometimes, having a so-called 'violent streak' can be very beneficial and give you newfound confidence, because you don’t tolerate abuse and actively defend yourself.
I remember my own 'violent streak' when, as an adult, I encountered the same old man who used to verbally harass women at the bus terminal, the one who terrified me as a young girl. I walked up to him and told him that if he didn’t stop, I’d tear out his tongue and make him eat it.
I’m not proud of losing my temper with a man who clearly had mental health issues, but I thought about how I felt years ago when I used to encounter him and decided it was no longer time to endure.
I suppose that growing up also means understanding that everyone has the responsibility to save themselves in whatever way they can.
Thanks, Historia Minuta, for your support! OK, let's say that man had mental health issues, but he had been terrorizing you and other girls and women for years. In Italy, you can be cured for free, if you don't have money, so he could just go and see a doctor. Pedophilia is a mental illness too, but we don't have to tolerate it. You did right, good for you. Shame on other people, presumably older and physically stronger than you, who allowed him to harass you and the others for years. We have polizia and carabinieri, what do they do all day long?!
Good for you, Portia. A brilliant coup! So many people think that someone else is going to defend them or that if they do it themselves, they'll get into trouble for being, as you discovered, the violent one. There is great injustice in the world. Being a secret knight for one's own security will always save the day even if it doesn't save one's relationship with those who should be the protectors.
Thanks Sue, with child molesters, you can't afford the luxury of being too subtle. I didn't kill the guy, I didn't even harm it, I just managed to give him a warning. He was the violent one, although in a sneaky, cowardly way.
Or maybe it triggered some traumatic memories in them, who knows, Tod, but life isn't all sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows, we have to tell all kind of stories.
Oh Portia, there is so much I want to say here, but not enough space or time. Your own patriarch normalizing the behaviour of a pedophilic predator while accusing you of violence really just sticks out in my mind. How many of us have experienced this. A normal response to protect oneself being societally prohibited and condemned - "oh you sweet thing, how could you be so mean to him?" etc. But what about his reputation, how did you make him feel, he was only" etc etc etc. Basta. I love your pluck and f this. I want us to raise our daughters to never be silent or acquiesce, and our sons to never even think this shit is normal in the first place - to plow your hands through flesh in public spaces as if every body in the world were there for your whimsical taking.
Thanks, Portia, sorry, I deleted the first replay and tried to send it again, but the system went down. I don't know why. I will send you a direct message :-)
A story well told. Sorry you had to endure that -- and your father's response all those years later. But good on you for dispatching that pervy bully the way you did.
Dear Portia, Good for you, writing about this. Perhaps it is naive of me to think more women writing about assaults will change men, but it's a place to start. I know how these incidents stay with us, and am sad you experienced this. But look at you now ! I am proud to know you and count you a good friend. And yes, parents are never perfect and often disappoint us and fail in some way. Mine sure did. My take on it was to do my best not to repeat their mistakes in my own life. Love to you.
Tod, the pleasure and privilege of being your friend and devoted reader is all mine. Good men are wonderful friends and partners, it's bad people who should change their ways. And being a parent makes us aware of how fallible we all are. Life isn't for the faint-hearted, is it? I like to think I channeled a bit of your Harriet's spirit, don't you think?
Violent streak. Since I wasn’t as violent as you were, Portia, I could only indulge myself with fantasies:
Why are you showing me that thing, mister? Oh, you want me to touch it? Well, all right, terrified though I am. There. You seem pleased with my little hand, mister. Good. Enjoy it while it lasts because I NOW YANK YOUR HIDEOUS COCK OFF YOU AND STUFF IT IN YOUR SCREAMING MOUTH.
In my humble opinion, this and the anal probes are the only effective treatments for paedophilia.
Oh, Zibow, my dear! I was lucky to have the chance to defend myself, but that's what those jerks count on, letting children think that they can't do anything, that they're all alone, and with no one ready or willing to help them. Sometimes, answering with violence is the only thing to stop those assholes, you're right.
Portia, I am so proud of you, a child in those old times! What a character! And your inventiveness! Much better than mine in that Moscow apartment you read in my memoir. And you watched the movie to the end! All my admiration goes to you. ( Do you find Cherkasov handsome? ) Don't remember the movie. I love you, Portia, you are so brave!
Oh Larisa, I love you too! No, you did the best thing in your situation, that horrible KGB man could have seriously harm you, your family, and the lovely people who were taking care of you in Moscow. It was the wisest decision for you, Larisa, you did right. The movie is great, time for a rewatch. And yes, I do find Cherkasov handsome, with his noble countenance, and those eyes! По моему, потрясающий красавец.
Thanks Armand! That musical score works so well in the film, and also as a standalone Cantata. They knew they had an enemy to fight and, as a propaganda movie, AN is hard to beat.
I'd like to watch a movie at the Mole! But without a pervert on my left! I hate it when strange men think they can just walk around this world and touch any woman they want and anywhere they want. I will never understand it and I think men like your father can't understand it. I was talking to 2 colleagues the other day, one in his 40s and the other in his 50s, and I told them how most women have this biggest fear starting around puberty, and that's the fear of perverts assaulting them in any way, they're everywhere. They were both surprised and seemed unaware of that. But both have wives who perhaps don't have this fear - or just don't talk about it. I think it's necessary to talk about it.
Hi Gabi, I agree that we should talk more about it, but I didn't at the time, because I was sure no one would have believed me, an ugly girl, and I was afraid they were going to mock me, call me a liar and delusional. You know, the girls at my school, they all had similar stories, but we didn't think this kind of harassment was a big deal, because it was so common, especially in a "macho" country like Italy in the '80s. Thank you for your comment!
Yes, I get it. Italy is a highly macho country even now...
It is! I left 20 years ago, but from what I hear, not much has changed.
Nope. I live in the neighborhood, Croatia. Similarly 'macho' :(
Shame, I don't know Croatia very much, but I remember how beautiful Zagreb is.
It still is, thanks!
Whatever one says as a man feels redundant really in the appalling face of Mr Perv McPervyface. But then, there is another face here - Cherkasov - showing, I hope, a more honourable masculinity.
How anyone can call it violence on your part is beyond me. I would call it bravery. Like Cherkasov.
Thanks Nicolas, I know there are more kind, good, honourable men than bad ones out there. Fun fact, Cherkasov went on to star in other 2 Eisenstein movies about Ivan the Terrible, and he was really good in them, although his character differed completely from Aleksander Nevsky.
Dig a fun fact.
Brave, brave you, Portia! What an awful thing to have to endure, though.
Thanks, Jeffrey. When I think how many children had to endure even worse than that, it makes my blood boil.
My youngest daughter was assaulted in her twenties by a man in a powerful position. I am so sorry it happened to you Portia. Men need to step up and protect women not prey on them.
I'm sorry for your daughter, Steve, what a cowardly bastard to take advantage of a young woman! Thanks for your comment, we should take care of each other.
Thank you Portia. It breaks my heart that I could not be there when she needed protection. Men need to step up and protect their sisters, wives and mothers. You are very strong and brave to share your experience
I know, Steve, I feel your pain as a parent of a daughter myself. I'm sure there are a lot of kind, considerate, thoughtful men like you in the world, although it's the shitty ones who make more noise and are more visible. But they're not going to win.
Portia, I’m so sorry for what you had to go through. Sometimes, having a so-called 'violent streak' can be very beneficial and give you newfound confidence, because you don’t tolerate abuse and actively defend yourself.
I remember my own 'violent streak' when, as an adult, I encountered the same old man who used to verbally harass women at the bus terminal, the one who terrified me as a young girl. I walked up to him and told him that if he didn’t stop, I’d tear out his tongue and make him eat it.
I’m not proud of losing my temper with a man who clearly had mental health issues, but I thought about how I felt years ago when I used to encounter him and decided it was no longer time to endure.
I suppose that growing up also means understanding that everyone has the responsibility to save themselves in whatever way they can.
Thanks, Historia Minuta, for your support! OK, let's say that man had mental health issues, but he had been terrorizing you and other girls and women for years. In Italy, you can be cured for free, if you don't have money, so he could just go and see a doctor. Pedophilia is a mental illness too, but we don't have to tolerate it. You did right, good for you. Shame on other people, presumably older and physically stronger than you, who allowed him to harass you and the others for years. We have polizia and carabinieri, what do they do all day long?!
Good for you, Portia. A brilliant coup! So many people think that someone else is going to defend them or that if they do it themselves, they'll get into trouble for being, as you discovered, the violent one. There is great injustice in the world. Being a secret knight for one's own security will always save the day even if it doesn't save one's relationship with those who should be the protectors.
Thanks Sue, with child molesters, you can't afford the luxury of being too subtle. I didn't kill the guy, I didn't even harm it, I just managed to give him a warning. He was the violent one, although in a sneaky, cowardly way.
This post has cost me 4 subscribers. 🤷🏻♀️
What ! Well, what does that say about them. I guess we know. I'm even more proud of you for telling your story. !
Or maybe it triggered some traumatic memories in them, who knows, Tod, but life isn't all sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows, we have to tell all kind of stories.
Oh Portia, there is so much I want to say here, but not enough space or time. Your own patriarch normalizing the behaviour of a pedophilic predator while accusing you of violence really just sticks out in my mind. How many of us have experienced this. A normal response to protect oneself being societally prohibited and condemned - "oh you sweet thing, how could you be so mean to him?" etc. But what about his reputation, how did you make him feel, he was only" etc etc etc. Basta. I love your pluck and f this. I want us to raise our daughters to never be silent or acquiesce, and our sons to never even think this shit is normal in the first place - to plow your hands through flesh in public spaces as if every body in the world were there for your whimsical taking.
Thank you for this honest piece. I loved it.
Thank you, Monica, I know you and your husband are raising your beautiful kids to be also beautiful inside. Keep up the good fight!
You handled that well, Portia. I'd love to talk to you about some of the memories you brought out in me. Perhaps one day. Thanks, for the sharing.
You can send me a direct message, if you want.
Thanks, Portia, sorry, I deleted the first replay and tried to send it again, but the system went down. I don't know why. I will send you a direct message :-)
Michael, I hope not bad memories, but the world isn't always kind, not even to children.
A story well told. Sorry you had to endure that -- and your father's response all those years later. But good on you for dispatching that pervy bully the way you did.
Thanks John! Sending you a hug and strength to fight Pazuzu.
Oh Portia... So brave - I'm so glad you were watching that film.
Thanks WTRI! Maybe the Angel of Vengeance was looking upon me. And it was more of a gut reaction, than courage, I think, but it served its purpose.
Dear Portia, Good for you, writing about this. Perhaps it is naive of me to think more women writing about assaults will change men, but it's a place to start. I know how these incidents stay with us, and am sad you experienced this. But look at you now ! I am proud to know you and count you a good friend. And yes, parents are never perfect and often disappoint us and fail in some way. Mine sure did. My take on it was to do my best not to repeat their mistakes in my own life. Love to you.
Tod, the pleasure and privilege of being your friend and devoted reader is all mine. Good men are wonderful friends and partners, it's bad people who should change their ways. And being a parent makes us aware of how fallible we all are. Life isn't for the faint-hearted, is it? I like to think I channeled a bit of your Harriet's spirit, don't you think?
It's gratifying to hear Harriet might have made a difference. I never would have imagined. Thank you Portia.
Violent streak. Since I wasn’t as violent as you were, Portia, I could only indulge myself with fantasies:
Why are you showing me that thing, mister? Oh, you want me to touch it? Well, all right, terrified though I am. There. You seem pleased with my little hand, mister. Good. Enjoy it while it lasts because I NOW YANK YOUR HIDEOUS COCK OFF YOU AND STUFF IT IN YOUR SCREAMING MOUTH.
In my humble opinion, this and the anal probes are the only effective treatments for paedophilia.
Oh, Zibow, my dear! I was lucky to have the chance to defend myself, but that's what those jerks count on, letting children think that they can't do anything, that they're all alone, and with no one ready or willing to help them. Sometimes, answering with violence is the only thing to stop those assholes, you're right.
Brilliant you - but your dad??? Really shocking.
Thanks Lizzie! Yeah, what can I say? My parents weren't exactly experts in child rearing.
Am sorry to hear it! There’s a lot of it about.. Mine too.
Portia, I am so proud of you, a child in those old times! What a character! And your inventiveness! Much better than mine in that Moscow apartment you read in my memoir. And you watched the movie to the end! All my admiration goes to you. ( Do you find Cherkasov handsome? ) Don't remember the movie. I love you, Portia, you are so brave!
Oh Larisa, I love you too! No, you did the best thing in your situation, that horrible KGB man could have seriously harm you, your family, and the lovely people who were taking care of you in Moscow. It was the wisest decision for you, Larisa, you did right. The movie is great, time for a rewatch. And yes, I do find Cherkasov handsome, with his noble countenance, and those eyes! По моему, потрясающий красавец.
Portia: Whew!
Uh . . . I am at least glad you were able to hurt him and send him scurrying.
Your Dad's reaction is shocking. If my daughter told me of such an encounter, I would have been frothing at the mouth about the assailant.
I am very glad you seem to be a strong person. You write very well, and I share your love for the music of Prokofiev.
Thanks Armand! That musical score works so well in the film, and also as a standalone Cantata. They knew they had an enemy to fight and, as a propaganda movie, AN is hard to beat.